Freeing yourself from self-limiting beliefs is the foundation to self-care. And it’s how you can start living wholeheartedly.

Many of the people who come to my practice identify themselves primarily by an illness. I am bipolar, they explain, or I am an alcoholic, or I am obsessive compulsive. They’ve come into the medical system at some point in their journey and have been spoken to in the language of disease. This has created a new identity of themselves founded on the perspective of illness, disorder, and disease.

A patient who carried a diagnosis of clinical depression described herself as “in remission” – at a point where she had been well for three full years! A teen who had been successfully treated for a panic disorder described herself as at risk for long-term psychiatric issues.

Patients with this ingrained attitude reflect the medical system’s assumption that once you’ve had a disorder, the best you can hope for is suppression of disease for a while—but the disorder is always lurking in the background. The very language my profession uses has taught us to view ourselves in terms of the problems we have. And that helps create self-limiting beliefs.

The corollary to this central idea of psychiatry is that once you solve your problems, and only when you solve your problems, will you be able to have a full and fulfilling life. But I disagree.

I see it differently now because I look with Heart. I reject the premise that you are lacking in favor of the view of each person as simply whole and complete within yourself.

You already have, and always have had, everything you need for a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Not always an easy life or one that is always happy, but a life of experience. An interesting life of truth and purpose and love, a life containing joy and wonder. (Also, a life where you handle your business.)

Much about Heart has to do with getting through the toughest times in life. Equally important, though, is the access Heart gives you to the good things. Heart is what you need when life is at its worst. It’s also where you are when life is at its best. And you’re not living wholeheartedly until you learn to access both these aspects of Heart.

In Heart, you find freedom. A lot of varieties of freedom, actually, with the big one being freedom from fear. Because fear is your brain’s specialty, you have to shift to Heart to release yourself from its grip.

Being free of fear shows up in a lot of ways that brain-first people will recognize – and find useful – including freedom from:
  • fear of failure
  • self-limiting beliefs
  • attachment to particular outcomes
  • conditional love
  • the need to be right
  • the need to be perfect
  • the need to be invulnerable
  • wanting/needing to control everything
  • the urgent need to be certain
The great freedoms found in Heart are not just the ‘freedom from’ types. They’re generally ‘freedom to’ types. Heart is where you find freedom to:
  • create
  • believe
  • inspire (or be inspired)
  • love and be loved
  • be yourself
  • pursue what matters to you
  • live with ease

Heart’s abilities give you the abilities to handle the toughest things. And the ability to free yourself from self-limiting beliefs. A big part of how it does that is by freeing you up from what most commonly stands in your way (fear, in its many forms).

But Heart also wants for you.

And this Heart yearning is what nudges you and pulls you toward everything that’s most important in life. Heart is not satisfied with just giving you tools. Heart is always aiming for the good life.

My good life might not look exactly like your good life, but Heart is an excellent tailor and will create the perfect fit for each of us. There will be themes common to everyone’s good life, though, and freedom is definitely on the list.

The best argument for learning to access Heart is that life is inevitably painful and joyful, worrisome and wondrous, and in your control and out of your control. To live life to the fullest you need Heart. Letting your brain handle everything alone means rough times are rougher, change is painful without realizing growth, peak times are missed or muted, and life is smaller and less interesting.

Heart is an essential element of the whole you. Bringing in Heart, creates brain-heart balance and a full and fulfilling life. Tapping into Heart and its capacity for hilarity, knowledge of your power, ability to offer love and help you love, through all the ups and downs, as you experience ALL of life – this is living wholeheartedly.

This is the good life.

Heartfelt wishes,
Amy

Photo credit: Dingzeyu Li